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By the Unfortunate Name of Ladder [August 2006] -- Ruth Steinback
The first paragraph was written by me on the silverboard in our apartment sometime during the winter-term exams (approximately April 2006). Likely due to boredom. That or insanity. Both is actually fairly likely. Yes, both is good. Here the story of the unfortunately named Ladder continues.
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Once there was a little boy named Ladder. His favourite thing in the entire world was stairs. This was unfortunate because he lived in a treehouse. Doubly so because they used rope ladders to get in and out of the house. So anytime anybody yelled "LADDER!" poor Ladder never knew if they meant him or they just wanted in.
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His misfortune only continued in school. People started calling him "Laddie". Which when written down inevitably had substitute teachers call out it out incorrectly while taking attendence. La-deer, Lay-der, I-a-der (if they read the 'L' wrong), or all too frequently - Lady. "Lady. Lady! Is there a Lady present in the class?" Inevitably he would have to stand up and explain. Yes it really was him, no he wasn't a girl, and yes his name was Ladder. And the class would titter- that particularly aggravating laughter where you and they both know how impolite it is but they do anyway because everyone else is too. And the teacher would give him that look. That one that said "What an odd name for a boy... what were his parents thinking?".
Ladder knew that look.
He had only ever snapped once because of it. Just once, when he couldn't bear that look again. (There had been substitutes in two of his classes that day as many teachers were away on a school field trip with the sixth graders for the week). Having attention drawn to yourself, again, when you don't want it is bad enough. Let alone because of a name like 'Ladder'.
"Well I don't know why my parents named me that either! Its so stupid and you don't know anything and I hate this and I'm going home!" He stormed out in the stunned silence that followed, then overheard the buzzing of the intercom as the Substitute paged the office ('Does this happen often?').
Everyone was convinced that he'd really gone home. The other kids were impressed, they'd always wondered what would happen if they'd done the same. Then they got worried when later in the day they found that no Ladder's parents hadn't seen him. A schoolwide search was finally called. They found him sitting in the back stairs of the North hall. His stairs. Ladder's stairs.
Poor Ladder.
[To Be Continued?]
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